


Found Happiness

by The_Void (The_Hatted_Dragon_16)



Series: KuroDai Short Fics [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A silent voice AU, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blaming, Bullying, Deaf Character, Deaf!Daichi, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Koe no Katachi AU, KuroDai Week, M/M, References to Depression, Sign Language, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Verbal Abuse, no beta we die like daichi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:21:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27734497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Hatted_Dragon_16/pseuds/The_Void
Summary: KuroDai Mid-Birthday Weekend Event 2020Day 1: Crossover - A Silent Voice AUKuroo knew he was a part of the reason the Sawamura’s moved away.He knew that just by watching the other boys rip out Daichi’s hearing aids, or not offering him his own notes from class, or ignoring the garbled voice that called after them as they walked away, that he was a part of the reason the Sawamura’s moved away.And that’s why he had to make it right, if only to quell the guilt that wracked his own soul.Daichi never thought he’d set foot in that town ever again.He thought he’d be rid of the faces that taunted and teased and sneered as he tried to learn alongside the other able-bodied children. He never thought he would see the faces of his former bullies again as he entered high school in his childhood town. And he certainly never thought one of them would walk into his life again, speaking his language.Now he has to decide; to let Kuroo in, or keep him, and the rest of his past, shut out.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi
Series: KuroDai Short Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2040630
Comments: 12
Kudos: 83
Collections: KuroDai Mid-Birthday Weekend 2020





	Found Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> This is my entry for Day 1 of the KuroDai Mid-Birthday Weekend Event! It's an 'A Silent Voice' or 'Koe no Katachi' AU/Crossover if you couldn't tell X3
> 
> Please, please, please read the tags! Don't read if this is going to trigger you. I'm just going to reiterate it here: this fic contains some pretty blatant suicidal thoughts, actions, and references, it also contains bullying and its effects. Please stay safe friends, I don't want you to hurt yourselves.
> 
> Daichi and Kuroo's pasts are a bit different when compared to Shouka and Shoya's. Kuroo was not the primary antagonist, but he did ignore Daichi in the past. Because of all the bullying, the Sawamura's decided to move away, then fate (or a job change), brought the Sawamura's back to the town. The rest of the details of their pasts will be unveiled in the story.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I have absolutely no idea how to write sign language, PLEASE let me know how I did and if you have any tips/critiques in the comments. Also, I swear I don't hate Daishou, he just fit the antagonist I needed for this.
> 
> I hope you enjoy my very rushed fic! ^^

Daichi watched as the vibrant green leaves swayed in the breeze and kids rode past him on old bicycles, rusty in some places and peeling paint in others. He was captured by the soft, mouthwatering scents of street vendors as they opened up shop for the day, and he could feel the tugging of his backpack with every step he took along the sidewalk. The day was filled with bright colors and smells, and Daichi was sure if he reached out to run the pads of his fingers along the wooden fences that they would be covered in wondrous textures.

But it was silent. Always silent.

Daichi had long learned to live with and accept his disability. He had learned to find the beauty in what he could feel and smell and taste and see. He was most grateful for his sight, but now, he almost wished he couldn’t see; wished with every fiber of his being that he would magically appear back in the place he had managed to call home. Instead, his feet continued to carry him toward an unfamiliar building across a town filled with too-familiar faces.

‘I think I’m more acquainted with the backs of their heads than I am their actual faces,’ he thought bitterly, clutching the sides of his pack straps tighter.

Daichi sighed lightly. He hated the feelings that those old memories brought him. He hated how this town seemed to wipe away any semblance of self-worth he had managed to build for himself, but he had assured his parents that he would be fine. He was prepared to spend his senior year of high school in a relatively outcast state if it meant they could afford his grandfather’s medication.

After all, things were always easier the second time around.

The knowledge that they had moved for a purpose helped Daichi push forward, but it did nothing to quell the churning in his gut, and he very suddenly felt like he was twelve years old again. He was staring out at a classroom full of unfamiliar faces and writing his name in a notebook. He was sitting next to another boy in his class who he was excited to become friends with. Then he was standing awkwardly around a group of rambunctious kids he couldn’t hear, and was sitting on the sidewalk rubbing sand out of his eyes, and crying in his seat in front of the whole class as blood dripped down the side of his face and burning pain erupted inside of his ear.

Then he was talking to his parents, trying to understand why he couldn’t make friends.

Daichi hated the way his eyes stung, and he took a painfully deep breath, tilting his head to the sky as he did. He knew the memories still ran like deep wounds, but the reaction that standing in the town managed to pull from him was visceral. The tightness in his chest and the shaking of his hands made him realize that for the first time since he was twelve years old, he was afraid of them.

With heavy steps and an equally heavy heart, he walked into the unfamiliar school and located his classroom with the help of an administrator. Daichi tried to shake the familiar feeling this moment held to his elementary school entrance. He steeled himself outside of the door, near-glaring a hole in the wooden frame as he waited, every muscle stiff and expectant.

The administrator knocked and entered the room smoothly, but Daichi nearly froze in the doorway, eyes widening as his gaze flitted frantically across the room.

He knew he had never had much of a good relationship with luck, but the faces that dotted the room in front of him spelled something far worse than simple misfortune.

A head of unruly jet black hair sat in the far corner, braced against the wall, golden eyes staring at his desk in disinterest. Soft eyes and silver hair bounced enthusiastically in the front row, chatting amiably with long brown hair and the beginnings of a beard. But what really made Daichi’s heart clench was the sight of carefully styled hair and sharp, snake-like eyes that leaned across the aisle to sneer.

“If I can have everyone’s attention,” the teacher, Takeda-sensei, called. He signed as he spoke, much to Daichi’s surprise, “I would like to introduce you to your new classmate, Sawamura Daichi,”

The world came screeching to a halt.

Daichi was sure, if he could hear, there would have been audible gasps of disbelief, but the look in their eyes was enough to tell Daichi everything he needed to know.

They all remembered who he was.

With one last calming breath, Daichi raised his hands and introduced himself. He couldn’t help the subtle way they shook, his heart pulsing rapidly as he stared at his hands, or the floor, or any portion of the room that didn’t hold hauntingly familiar eyes.

Takeda-sensei translated for him, and after he was finished, he directed Daichi to where he would be sitting. He was eternally grateful to be sat between unfamiliar faces. The day proceeded without issue, but his heart never calmed. It thumped wildly whenever someone stood or turned in his direction, bracing for faces full of silent taunts or obvious insults, but they never came. No one seemed to pay him any mind, and Daichi was more than happy to keep it that way.

Weeks went by and each day was the same. No one spoke to him.

In the beginning, Daichi was relieved to be ignored and paid no mind to. It eased his anxieties and stopped the thumping of his heart, but the longer it persisted, and the longer his heart beat easily, the more empty he felt. Lunches were filled with loneliness and his food began to lose its taste. He yearned for someone to speak with, but the only person he had seen use his language was Takeda-sensei, and though he was nice enough, Daichi wanted friends his own age.

The lonelier and emptier he felt, the more he could feel something creeping into his heart, coiling around it like a vice and filling it with a poisonous, bitter feeling. Anger bit at his soul like acid, corroding away any anxiety and replacing it with a dangerous venom that bubbled in his throat like a phantom growl. His fingers twitched, harsh words pricking at their tips as he sat alone in the schoolyard, back pressed against cold concrete as he had done everyday so far, unopened bento sitting in his lap.

He had walked back into the town that had terrorized his thoughts and dreams for years, and no one had said a word to him. They didn’t even spare him a glance in the hallways, they went on with their lives as if they hadn’t caused him any sort of pain, as if their hands weren’t the ones who had pushed him, as if their mouths hadn’t shaped into dark sneering and formed words to shout at him that they knew he couldn’t hear.

Daichi’s chopsticks splintered in his grip and he released them, eyes widening slightly at the damage he had caused before he scowled once more. He rose to his feet and stormed inside, depositing the contents of his lunch into a nearby trashbin before he made his way to the classroom. He was sure anger was practically radiating off of his every move as he shoved his bento box into this pack, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

These people, the people that had brought him so much suffering, now refused to even acknowledge his existence. It made something inside him roar in fury, and he glared powerfully across the empty classroom, teeth grinding together as he simmered in his thoughts.

Daichi was so caught up in his own thoughts he didn’t see the figure enter the room and pad over to his side.

He jumped as he snapped his gaze to whoever had touched him.

Daichi’s breath caught in his throat.

Standing beside him was a tall, lanky figure. His clothing was rumpled and dark circles hung beneath his eyes, and beneath an unruly fringe of black hair he fixed Daichi with a heavy-lidded gaze. Adrenaline pumped so steadily through Daichi’s veins that he almost missed the moment when their hands began to move.

Tearing his gaze away from the familiar, haunting face, Daichi turned to his hands and watched as ten long fingers and two slender arms shaped words with their movements.

“I’m sorry,” the unruly haired boy said, golden eyes trained on his own, shaking hands, “I don’t know if you remember me. My name is Kuroo Tetsurou,” his hands stilled, hesitating to continue, “I… know that I wasn’t kind to you in the past, but I wanted to apologize and ask,” his hands moved quickly, forming a phrase that Daichi had repeated a thousand times. A motion that had become like second nature to him even when he was met with turned backs, or sand, or shoves, or obvious, inaudible yelling, “Will you be my friend?”

Daichi’s blood ran cold.

He stared at Kuroo’s hands but his own fingers remained still.

‘Will you be my friend?’

Blood roared through Daichi’s veins as the coiled beast inside of him reared its head. The bitterness in his heart stung and the venom in his throat bubbled.

‘Will you be my friend?’

How many times had he asked the same? How many times had Daichi spoken those words? How many times had he been met with cold stares and angry hands?

Daichi’s gaze rose slowly to Kuroo’s face as he brought up his hands. He felt the sharp prick of bitterness at his fingertips.

“And why would I want that?”

Golden eyes widened, peering into Daichi’s with a look that was nothing short of shock, but Daichi’s gaze was unrelenting.

Kuroo had said it himself. He had done horrible things. Things that still bit at Daichi’s heels anytime he had to speak with someone knew, things that sparked fears in the most vulnerable of places, and Kuroo had been part of the reason.

Why would he ever want that?

There was no movement from either of them for a long moment, and before Kuroo could formulate a reply, another person appeared in the doorway, mouth moving as he approached them.

Kuroo stiffened and turned to him, but signed as he spoke, “Nothing, Daishou. We were just talking,”

Daishou responded and when Kuroo spoke again his hands remained by his sides.

‘Fine by me,’ Daichi thought bitterly, turning to retrieve a folder from his pack so he didn’t have to watch the exchange, ‘The offer was probably all a joke anyway, and now Daishou was coming to see if Kuroo had successfully fooled poor, stupid me into thinking I could actually have friends,’

By the time Daichi turned away from his pack, Kuroo had retreated to his desk and Daishou was greeting the other students as they returned from lunch.

Bitterness flooded Daichi’s veins once more.

How dare they.

* * * *  
Daichi seemed to see Kuroo everywhere after that, and every time he did the same bitter taste flooded his mouth. He didn’t want to see Kuroo, he didn’t want to see Daishou, he didn’t want to see any of the faces that he could remember, but Kuroo just kept appearing.

He never approached Daichi again, though.

Each time the rooster-haired boy entered Daichi’s field of vision his eyes were drawn to him. Daichi desperately wanted them to be like two separate ends of a magnet, but instead he was like a moth to a golden flame. The more Daichi saw Kuroo, the more he watched him, and the more he began to notice the distinct lack of people surrounding him.

Kuroo, no matter when or where Daichi saw him, was always alone.

He was quiet in class, and Takeda-sensei almost never called on him. He ate lunch on one bench on the far side of the schoolyard under the shade of large evergreen oak, chewing slowly, eyes never rising above his chopsticks. He saw Kuroo after school, walking down the road with his hands in his pockets, fringe hanging low over his eyes. Daichi saw him on the weekends, riding to and from the local grocery store on a rickety old bike, never buying more than a couple of items at a time.

He began to notice the way Kuroo’s shoulders were always hunched, how they curved inwards when someone spoke to him. He began to see the way his eyes never met anyone else’s gaze. Daichi saw the nervous way he walked, like he was hyper-aware of how much space he was taking up, and he saw the way Kuroo shrunk away from bumping shoulders with other students.

Daichi also began to notice how the other students looked at Kuroo. He saw the carefully veiled disdain in some eyes and the open sneers in others. He couldn’t hear the things the others said to Kuroo as they passed him in the hall, but he watched as a little more of the light in Kuroo’s eyes died with every word. He watched Kuroo’s shaking hands when he apologized or spoke with Takeda-sensei after class.

Daichi watched the way Kuroo’s life unfolded in front of him, and the cold, bitter feeling that had coiled in his heart before began to give way something burning. It rose up from his chest to the back of his neck and the tips of his ears.

Shame.

Daichi, consumed by memories of how he had been hurt, had given way to his anger. He had refused the friendship of someone who was hurting, in much the same way he had been. Kuroo Tetsurou, in the time Daichi was away, had changed in such a drastic way, and he had been blind to it.

That’s why, bento box in hand, Daichi walked past his usual spot and crossed the courtyard, his sights set on one, lone person sitting on a bench in the shade of a large, evergreen oak.

He was going to stop this cycle of suffering, if Kuroo would let him.

Daichi clutched his bento box tighter to his chest, the thump of his heart pushing against it with every beat. He was aware of the eyes that followed him to his destination, but he was determined to ignore them, and his feet continued to carry him.

It wasn’t until Daichi had set his bento down on the bench that Kuroo looked up at him, golden eyes wide and startled as he stared up at Daichi.

He was sure his face was red by the way it burned, but Daichi raised his hands determinedly and began to speak.

“I’m sorry,” he began, doing his best to hold Kuroo’s gaze. His throat felt dry and scratchy, and for once, Daichi was grateful that he wasn’t expected to speak, “I don’t expect that you want to talk to me after how I treated you, but I wanted to apologize,” his gaze fell away from Kuroo’s face, unable to look any longer, “You didn’t deserve that,”

Kuroo’s hands raised quickly, and Daichi almost couldn’t catch his words in the flurry of movements that followed.

“No, no! Please don’t apologize. I didn’t expect that you’d want to be my friend. I completely understand that you’d hate me after everything that happened, and that you’d never want to see my face again. And that’s fine! I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want. I just don’t want you to feel like I’m a threat to you now. Not that I don’t think you can handle yourself,”

Daichi stared in amazement as Kuroo spoke, eyes flitting every-which-way, his words always looping back to ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘you had every right to say that’ as he continued to apologize.

“...and you’ve probably moved on to better things. I just-” Daichi silenced him, hands gently laying over Kuroo’s to halt his frantic movements. Kuroo looked at him, surprised, and Daichi returned his nervous look with a soft smile.

“We were kids,” he began slowly, carefully shaping each word as he thought of the best response, “I won’t say it wasn't painful, but I’ve grown and changed. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did,” a thought occurred to Daichi as he spoke and he smiled wider, “You’ve changed too,” he added, gesturing to Kuroo’s hands, “You learned to sign?”

Kuroo’s eyes seemed to light up and he nodded enthusiastically, raising his hands once more, “Yeah! After you left I realized…” he paused, face burning slightly with a feeling Daichi knew too well, “Well, I realized how big of a part I played in driving you away. I didn’t want to be a bully or a bystander anymore, so I asked Takeda-sensei to teach me,” he explained, looking slightly embarrassed.

Daichi couldn’t quite believe his eyes, but he couldn’t deny the relief that swept through his veins like a cool breeze in a summer afternoon, and all at once the air didn’t feel so suffocating.

“That’s amazing,” he said, a smile now a seemingly permanent fixture on his face as he gazed down at the rooster-haired boy.

Kuroo shuffled awkwardly for a moment, “Thank you,” he said hesitantly, fidgeting with his fingers before he continued, “Does this mean that…” he wrung his hands nervously, still not meeting Daichi’s gaze, “Sorry. I don’t want to assume, but… does this mean that you’ll be my friend?”

Daichi was sure he was grinning like an idiot, but he couldn’t help it. Here he was, trying to apologize to this skyscraper of a boy for his completely uncalled for reaction, and Kuroo had managed to turn it into his own apology. It was sweet, but Daichi didn’t want him to be nervous.

“Yes,” he said quickly, wanting to ease the anxiety he knew too well, “Yes, I will be your friend, Kuroo Tetsurou,” he paused, forming his next words carefully and close to his chest, “Will you be mine?”

Kuroo stared at his hands for a moment, seemingly transfixed. Then he was nodding his head sharply, hands jumping up, and, as quickly as he could get the words out, he said, “Yes! Yes, of course,” he hesitated, “Thank you,” he said again.

“There’s nothing to thank me for,” Daichi replied, “Really, I should be the one thanking you,”

Kuroo shook his head slightly, a whisper of a smile appearing on his lips as he asked, “Would you like to join me for lunch?” With a nod, Daichi sat down next to him and they began eating together, pausing to speak with each other.

It was awkward at first, as Daichi expected it to be, but eventually they fell into a comfortable rhythm. They spoke about their time apart, what they enjoyed doing, and what their lives were like. They complained about exams and their least favorite subjects, and Daichi listened as Kuroo told him about his struggle to learn sign language.

“I tried to get some of the other students to learn with me,” he said while chewing his riceball, “But only a couple of them did,” he sighed, hands going limp for a moment, a gesture Daichi was finding to be a common occurrence when Kuroo was debating whether or not to say what was on his mind, “I think… well, I think some of them only learned it as a joke,” his hands moved quickly, held lower than they usually were, a sign Daichi recognized as Kuroo’s form of mumbling.

“That’s alright,” Daichi said, “I’m very impressed that you tried to get others to learn with you. Thank you,” Kuroo smiled a bit, eyes downcast as he did so, and they continued their flow of casual conversation.

That was the start of many lunches.

Daichi found a simple sort of solace in Kuroo’s presence. He wasn’t at all like Daichi remembered him to be. Before, Kuroo had carried his weight with a swagger in his step, he had a sharp grin and an even sharper gaze, but now he seemed quieter. His shoulders folded inward when he spoke and his eyes never met Daichi’s for longer than a couple seconds at a time. It made Daichi’s heart hurt, to see how dull his golden eyes had become.

Daichi watched the other students look at Kuroo with barely concealed disdain and saw as they sneered at him. Their mouths were open, spewing words that Daichi couldn’t make out. Many times he tried to ask what they were saying, or if Kuroo was alright, and he watched Kuroo’s shaking hands as he told Daichi that everything was fine.

It wasn’t.

Daichi hated every moment of walking through the hallways, knowing that Kuroo was experiencing a hell Daichi could only imagine. He knew what it was like to be ignored or shoved around, but he had never had to endure other’s words. He didn’t know the pains of hearing whispers or open taunts, and it made him angrier every time he had to watch Kuroo flinch at their comments.

The people were horrible, but Daichi reveled in their quiet moments. Whether it be lunch, after school walks, or weekend get-togethers, he triumphed in the way he could make Kuroo stand up a little straighter. Daichi smiled wider as he watched how animated Kuroo became when talking about math, and chemistry, and other sciences that had never been Daichi’s strong suit. He felt his own worries ease when Kuroo became relaxed enough to tease him with his sharp wit and extensive intellect; those were battles Daichi was more than happy to lose if it meant he could see Kuroo more at ease.

Daichi remembered the first time he had seen Kuroo really enjoy himself. Kuroo had slept-over at Daichi’s house on a long weekend. They had vowed to study together, but they found themselves bantering back and forth until the sun was peaking through the windows once again.

They only managed to sleep for an hour that night.

Daichi and Kuroo woke the next morning, sleep-deprived, and with more than a little head fuzz, but their stomachs demanded food and so they stumbled to the kitchen together.

Daichi flipped on the light when they entered the kitchen and paused at the sight before him. It had been dark in the room and in their journey down the hallway, but now that Kuroo was bathed in light, Daichi had a hard time tearing his gaze away. His golden eyes were still heavy lidded, blinking lazily against the light. He was still in his pajamas, an oversized black shirt that threatened to spill off his shoulders, exposing delicate collar bones, dark red sweatpants, and black cat socks that slid across the floor.

Kuroo’s eyes slid slowly over to Daichi after a moment, “What?” he asked, lithe fingers moving clumsily, body still aching for sleep.

“Your hair is ridiculous,” Daichi said, turning away quickly as his cheeks began to burn. It was true, his hair was worse than usual. It was sticking out everywhere, flatter where he’d squashed his head between the pillows, but filled with volume in others. It looked soft and almost feathery and Daichi wondered what it would feel like to run his fingers through it.

Daichi huffed, cheeks burning more at the thought, and he distracted himself by pulling out dishes he would need to make them breakfast.

“Tetsurou?” he asked, turning to the boy behind him who had reclined against the counter, eyelids hung low over his eyes, and the slow movement of Kuroo sliding his gaze up to meet Daichi’s made him feel a little hot again. His mind fumbled for what he was going to say.

Daichi would forever blame the lack of sleep for his short-circuiting.

“Can you get me the…” he paused, mind blanking.

“The…?” Kuroo asked.

“The, um…” Daichi scowled, “Oh my gosh! The… skittle?” his face flushed again as a grin began to break out across Kuroo’s face.

“The skittle? I’m not sure that will help us make breakfast,” his grin opened and his shoulders shook , no doubt chuckling at Daichi’s floundering.

“Not that!” Daichi scowled, “The scrittle? The… s-k-i-t-t-l-e?” Daichi flung his hands in annoyance, as Kuroo began to laugh. His head was thrown back for a moment, chest shaking with laughter, before he turned to lean both arms against the counter, pounding a fist against it as he struggled to catch his breath. Daichi abandoned his futile search for the elusive word in favor of a string of expletives that only had Kuroo laughing harder, arms clutched around his middle.

Even deaf, Daichi could hear Kuroo’s laughter.

Finally, his laughter seemed to subside, and Kuroo took a moment to breathe before he had grabbed Daichi’s hands, halting the curses that were flying from them, and stared down at him with an expression that left Daichi feeling weak. Kuroo’s golden eyes were alive with emotion, sparkling with a light that wasn’t usually there. His lips were upturned in the fondest of smiles, and Kuroo was standing up to his full height, broad shoulders fully extended. He was completely at peace.

He reached around Daichi, pulling a pan out from one of the higher shelves, and placed it in his hands, “Your skittle,” he said, grinning cheekily. Daichi swatted him with the pan.

Kuroo refused to refer to the pan by anything other than ‘skittle’ for the whole morning. It wasn’t until later that day, when they were in class, that it finally hit him. Daichi had turned in his desk to look at Kuroo, waving for his attention, and he was met with a questioning look.

Daichi stared at him with a straight face for a moment before he raised his hands and said, “Skillet,”

The grin from that morning erupted across Kuroo’s face, eyes gleaming from beneath his fringe as he bit his lip to keep from laughing.

Daichi swore from that moment, that he would do whatever it took to make Kuroo look like that again.

* * * *  
Daichi was more than happy to say that he saw that expression many more times after that. It came whenever they cracked an inside joke or made fun of a particularly terrible movie, it showed up when Kuroo talked about something that had happened that day, but Daichi’s favorite had to be when it appeared after saying nothing at all.

It was just a glance across the classroom. Kuroo’s eyes had met his and that grin had spread slowly across his face, golden eyes shining for no other reason than because they could. Daichi grinned back at him, a slow burning creeping up the back of his neck as he did so. He couldn’t explain the emotion Kuroo Tetsurou made him feel, but he supposed the closest thing to it was joy. He had never felt lonely after making friends with him.

Daichi smiled to himself as he waited for Kuroo on a park bench, a cool breeze blowing across Daichi’s skin, causing him to shiver slightly.

Winter was just around the corner, and he could already feel the sharp nip of the air. The trees were shedding their already red and orange toned leaves, and the sky had painted itself in varying shades of grey, settling over the world like a heavy blanket that made everything look even more picturesque.

Daichi didn’t sense someone approaching him until they were tapping his shoulder. He looked up with a smile, expecting to be met with a mop of black hair, but it faltered.

Instead of the familiar chaotic rooster head and golden eyes, he was met with sharp, dark eyes, carefully side-swept hair, and a snake-like grin that only widened at Daichi’s surprised expression.

“Not who you thought?” Daishou said, lithe fingers moving in front of him expertly, “I took sign language after you left too,” he explained in lieu of Daichi’s bewilderment, “I wanted to be able to understand you people. It’s no fun being left out of the conversion, is it?” the mocking tone of his voice translated well enough through his expression, mouth curving around his words wickedly.

Daichi couldn’t move his hands.

His heart was pounding out of his chest and all he could think was that this was exactly like being twelve years old again; Daishou sauntering away from him after throwing sand in his eyes, Daishou sneering as he tossed Daichi’s hearing aids out of reach, and now Daishou looming over him as he sat on a park bench, feeling twelve years old again.

“Nothing to say? After so long of being ignored?” Daishou taunted, “That’s too bad. You seemed to have plenty to say to Kuroo. Getting all chummy after years of neglect?”

“He’s changed,” Daichi managed to say, the words coming more as a natural reaction than anything else.

“Oh, I’ll say!” Daishou laughed, “He’s changed so much and it’s all because of you!” he stopped, letting Daichi search for the real meaning behind his words before he continued, taking a step into Daichi’s personal space, and he could almost feel the whisper of breath as Daishou spoke.

“Everything that’s happened to him is because of you,”

Daichi didn’t move.

He didn’t want to listen to Daishou anymore, but somewhere in the back of his mind he could feel the truth of his words ringing.

“Kuroo’s friendless, no one wants to hang out with a freak-lover, or a loser, or a school kid who can’t even afford this year’s uniform. No one wants to be friends with the boy who wears scars on his body like the latest accessories,” Daishou moved sharply, the tone of his voice carrying through the harsh jolts of his actions. The sinister smile grew on his face as he leaned even closer to Daichi, “And they certainly don’t want to be seen around the boy who took an icy plunge off of Dead Man’s Bridge in the dead of winter last year,”

Daichi’s blood ran cold.

His arms refused to move.

“Guess who did that to him? Hm? Take a guess!” he could tell Daishou was yelling now, and halfway through whatever finishing speech he had prepared, he abandoned his speaking to grip Daichi by the collar of his shirt and haul him off the bench.

Daichi didn't need to see what he had to say anyway. He was already thinking it.

Kuroo had suffered because of him. Kuroo was shunned because of him. Kuroo endured every insufferable word that fled the mouths of his peers all because of him.

Daichi had made him hurt. Daichi had inflicted exactly the kind of torment he had suffered on the one person who took the time to care about him.

He had made Kuroo feel worthless.

Daichi barely registered the shaking and rough shoving as Daishou pushed him to the ground, mouth still moving, releasing inaudible words Daichi was sure he could replace with his own thoughts. He stared up at Daishou, sure that the horror he was experiencing was written plain-as-day on his face.

He was washed with guilt.

Each newly conjured memory of Kuroo’s hunched shoulders and dying eyes was another rusty nail being jammed into Daichi’s soul.

He was poison.

He was a parasite.

Daichi had spread like an infection through Kuroo’s life and he was slowly killing him. His vision blurred as he continued to stare at Daishou, hot tears falling down his face as he struggled to breathe properly.

Daishou’s mouth stopped moving, shoulders heaving as he caught his breath, then he raised his hands again, leering down over Daichi once more.

“You’re the reason he’ll never be happy,”

Then Daishou spun on his heel and walked away, his back receding into the distance in an all-too-familiar scene that only brought more hot tears to his eyes.

How long had he made Kuroo suffer? How much pain had he put him through? How many harsh words had been thrown Kuroo’s way because he chose to hang out with a freak like Daichi?

How was Daichi supposed to let that continue?

He wasn’t quite sure when he got up off the ground and started walking, but he knew where he was going.

His feet were taking him to the only place he could make this right.

Kuroo shouldn’t have to suffer anymore, not because of Daichi. He deserved a life of happiness, one filled with friends and laughter and sound.

He deserved a life Daichi couldn’t give him.

The world was blurry as he ran, hot tears and biting cold obscuring his vision. The wind had picked up, and freezing rain began to fall from the darkening sky, the small droplets stinging against Daichi’s skin. The sky opened up, drenching him until his clothes hung off his body, frozen to the bone. He could feel the cracking of electricity around him as lightning flashed across the sky, but he didn’t stop running until he reached his destination.

It was one of the beauties of small towns, that most roads were deserted when the weather turned. It made it much easier for Daichi as he raced across the street, only stopping when his hands met a railing, breath coming in choked gasps as he stared down at the water below him. It was churning now, stirred by the torrential rain, the waves beating against the rocks in livid anger. Daichi could practically hear them calling to him, repeating Daishou’s words.

‘You’re the reason he’ll never be happy,’

‘I’m the reason he’ll never be happy,’ he thought, choking on another sob as he gripped the railing with white-knuckles, ‘He can never be happy if I’m still around,’

Daichi’s foot slid as he climbed the railing, holding fast to the metal on either side of him as he looked down at the water below, staring at the waves he wanted to swallow him whole. His eyes blurred once again as his foot lifted off the railing. He closed his eyes and leaned forward, gravity pulling him toward his final resting place.

Before his other foot could slide off the railing, two strong arms wrapped around his waist, yanking him back with enough force to send them both tumbling backwards. Daichi’s back met someone’s chest as they hit the ground and he writhed in their hold, rolling away when their grip loosened. He turned on his hands and knees, ready to bolt back to the railing, but he froze at the figure laying on the ground.

Dark, raven hair was splayed out across their forehead, golden eyes wide and chest heaving as they struggled to catch their breath.

Kuroo was up and kneeling in front of Daichi faster than the lightning could flash across the sky, and his hands moved even faster, but Daichi didn’t look to see what he had to say. He hung his head, sobs wracking his body and hot tears sliding down his cheeks, dripping off his nose with cold droplets of rain.

Daichi raised his shaking hands, “I’m the reason,” he shuddered, “I’m the reason you did that. I’m the reason no one talks to you. You’re such a good person if I just went away you could be happy, you could have friends, you-” a pair of warm hands encased his.

Daichi’s gaze snapped up as Kuroo drew his hands closer, pulling him toward his chest and wrapping his arms around him. Daichi sobbed into his shoulder as Kuroo rubbed soothing circles into his back.

Daichi sobbed until he didn’t have any more tears to shed.

He hiccuped and pulled away from where he had been leaning heavily against Kuroo. His eyes still stung, no doubt red and puffy, and he shook in equal parts exhaustion and cold, but Kuroo found his gaze. His warm, golden eyes held no hatred or disdain, the curve of his smile held concern instead of venom, and Daichi nearly began to cry again.

“I don’t deserve you,” he said, “You were shunned because of me and you endured so much hate because of me. I ruined your life so much you tried to yours. I took away your happiness-” Daichi stopped as he felt Kuroo’s hands wrap around his own again. Kuroo waited until he was sure he had Daichi’s attention, then he pulled his hands away to speak.

“I was shunned because I chose to stick up for people who shouldn’t be bullied,” his movements were slow but sure, filled with stubborn confidence and reassurance, “I have mental and physical scars that run back to my living situation and my own hormonal imbalances,” he paused for a moment to move closer to him, smoothing his hands across Daichi’s shoulders and tracing his fingertips along his cheeks.

“Daichi,” Kuroo said, hands close enough to brush his own, “Life may never be perfect. I may never be able to be happy on my own. But with you,” he said, his fingers whispering out the words as if they were fragile glass ornaments instead of crashing waves in the ocean rocking Daichi’s world.

“You always were happiness.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you much for making it all the way to the end of my fic!
> 
> I had so much fun writing this. I typically have trouble writing shorter stories, so making stuff for this event was extremely challenging for me, but I enjoyed every second of it! This fic was initially supposed to be shorter than it is, but shhh.. it's less than 7,000 words, that's what matters.
> 
> Let me know what you think of the story in the comments below! I'd especially love to hear how I did with the sign language if anyone has any pointers. I also highly treasure Kudos and Bookmarks ^^
> 
> Have a good rest of your December! And happy (early) Holidays!


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